Happy Birthday Leora!

Our big news this week was that we successfully celebrated American birthday No.2. Leora turned 13 on Tuesday. I'm pleased to say that there were no extreme overnight transformations from sweet little girl to horrific teenager. You can draw your own conclusions about why that did not happen. (See this clip if you don't know what I'm talking about.

)

Anyway, I suggested that Leora have some friends over on Shabbat afternoon in honour of her birthday, so she invited her entire grade of girls (around 40 of them) and instructed me to purchase a large supply of snacks for the occasion. She was also very clear that she wanted a home-made cake and not a lame Costco effort. I guess I should have been flattered.

In the end, some girls couldn't make it as they live far away, plus it was insanely cold here, but we had a decent turnout of about 25 excited American 12/13 year old girls. Maya and Eitan were strongly advised to evacuate the premises for the duration of the gathering. They didn't need to be told twice and were both taken in by some kindhearted friends. Avrom somehow managed to sleep through the entire thing - no surprises there - and Tzofia enjoyed being the group mascot and wowing her audience with her 5 year-old British accent, which is apparently even more entertaining than the rest of the family's British accents. Thankfully, all went well and the house was soon restored to its natural state of just one teenager and her (long-suffering) family.


Wish us luck!

More from Mercedes Street

As you all know, America suffered this weekend from yet another terrible school shooting. The whole country is obviously devastated. I'm not going to wax lyrical about it and I certainly don't want to get into politics, but the following one-minute clip was posted today on Facebook, and I think it is nicely put:




Toby is a very wise man.
---

This week we were fortunate to have Avrom's brother here again, and he even stayed with us for Shabbat. As a result of his public shaming in my post of two weeks ago, he arrived this time with a very respectable selection of English chocolate, for which we were extremely grateful. I hope the American readers are not offended by our obsession with English chocolate and rejection of the American kind. I don't mean to be rude but Hershey's really is vile. Sorry, was that rude?

In case you were wondering, the kids had school over Chanuka, except for one day. They were not particularly impressed with this, since in Israel Chanuka is a school holiday. But the school lunches are still top-notch so they didn't complain too much about having to go. However, it meant that it was a bit less Chanuka-like here and they felt a little bit robbed. Plus the donuts weren't as good. I'm hoping Christmas will be better here than it is in Israel. Here's some photo evidence of the Gilbert American Chanuka experience on Mercedes Street, complete with extra Gilbert.

Don't be fooled by Leora and Eitan's apparent "hug" - I'm pretty sure she was trying to strangle him.

Today we took the kids ice skating. The three big kids had only ever been ice skating once before and for Tzofia this was her very first time. The rink is only a 5 minute drive from our house, which is most convenient. We were there for a couple of hours, during which time no limbs were broken and we got to see some real ice hockey (scary), some 10 year-old figure skaters (impressive) and some insanely skilled toddler skaters (weird). I'd like to be able to tick this off of our list of fun things to do in America, but I have a feeling there will be some pressure applied by the junior Gilberts to repeat the experience in the near future. However, I'm skeptical about how long our good fortune of no serious injuries will last, so I'm going to try my best to recommend bowling wherever possible.

That's all for now from us. Have a good week!

Happy Chanuka!!!!!

I'm sure you're all dying to hear how last week's parent-teacher conferences went...

Well, first I decided to bunk my 9 o'clock appointment and take all the kids to Avrom's cousin's son's brit instead. I realised that a family simcha was far more important than finding out how well Tzofia writes her name (very well, by the way). The brit was at Yeshiva University in Washington Heights and we managed to get there in time without getting lost or getting a parking ticket. Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, Avrom had to rush off straight after davening for a meeting and missed the breakfast, so the kids and I were left representing the Gilbert family at yet another of Avrom's family simchas. A little bit of Jewish geography revealed that Leora was sitting next to her Gemara teacher's wife and that Avrom's cousin (the baby's father) was at yeshiva with two of Eitan's teachers. Small Jewish world, even in America.

I spent the entire afternoon at the school and was pleased to hear that the 3 big kids are all doing well. (I'll get an in-depth update on Tzofia's academic progress on Wednesday.) Their accents are still wowing the masses and they've all settled in nicely. I was informed by several of Eitan's teachers that he is occasionally distracted by the iPad during class. Shocking!!! I mean, one couldn't possibly have anticipated that giving a bunch of 11 year-old boys a state-of-the-art, shiny toy might be detrimental to their ability to focus in class.

It's interesting to be here during the "holiday season". I'd always heard that Chanuka was a big deal in the US but I hadn't realized quite how big. The New York Times was full of "Happy Chanuka" wishes from all the big stores, and the shops around here are selling lots of insanely tacky stuff like Chanuka stockings and magen david pasta. It's pretty weird.

      


Today we were ultra-cultured and spent the afternoon with the kids and some friends from Raanana at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manhattan. We warned the kids that it might not be quite as fun as an amusement park or ice skating but explained that it was an important cultural experience and that we wouldn't be interested in hearing any whinging. That glowing introduction clearly did a good job of lowering expectations and they all actually greatly enjoyed the afternoon. Tzofia was especially thrilled to come face to face with a real, live Jackson Pollock. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you could have a look here.)

We then rushed back to light Chanuka candles and have dinner at friends here in Teaneck, which was a really lovely end to the day. We definitely miss Roladin doughnuts, but the local ones are passable, and we managed to get through enough to fulfill our halachic obligation (according to all opinions).

I apologise to all my 7 readers for this post being a day later than usual. I think I might be moving to a regular Sunday night slot. Obviously this makes absolutely no difference to anyone at all, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

Have a great week!

Finally...some guests!!!

We've been here for over three months and are feeling well and truly settled. The honeymoon period is over and some minor things have started to go wrong. This week I had one kid home from school with a cold for 3 days, one kid at the dentist with toothache, the heating broke and the smoke alarms went crazy. This is really beginning to feel like home.

We also had our first proper house-guests this Shabbat and were finally able to put our 5-star guest quarters to use. A friend came to New York for a quick trip with her mum and chose Hotel Gilbert as their Shabbat holiday destination. (Actually, their first choice was not Hotel Gilbert, but the preferred family had suffered quite badly at the hands of Hurricane Sandy, and so our friend was forced to go with Plan B. We're not at all bitter about being the consolation prize.) We had lots of fun and enjoyed catching up with news from home. We especially appreciated the English chocolate delivery (chocolate orange and dairy milk - YUM!) and lots of other thoughtful gifts. We have also been joined tonight by Avrom's uncle who's in town for the brit of his new grandson (mazal tov Goldsteins!!!), and we're really pleased to be able to host him. He brought a huge box of Quality Street with him, so he is very welcome here any time. Our other foreign visitor this week was Avrom's brother who flew in from London for a couple of days for a work trip. He didn't come to Teaneck but Avrom and I joined him for dinner in Manhattan one evening. (It was my first time driving in Manhattan and I felt very grown-up and sophisticated.) Sadly, he came bearing absolutely no English chocolate whatsoever, so I'm not sure we'll be meeting up with him again.

In case anyone was wondering, Maya's birthday party last Sunday went very well. The Costco cake lived up to the hype and the girls seemed to really enjoy themselves. I think the best part for our kids was the fact that they didn't have to suffer the usual humiliation of their parents trying to talk Hebrew throughout the party. Parents are so embarrassing at the best of times, but when you have all your friends there and your dad keeps talking to them in the wrong gender it really is excruciating, apparently. Here's a pic of Maya and her cake (and Tzofi in the background playing Temple Run).

Tomorrow we have all the kids' parent-teacher conferences (that's a fancy American way of saying "parents' evening" or "aseifot horim"). I had to book my time-slots online 2 weeks ago, and only managed to get one slot at 9am and then all the rest spread out from 2 til 4pm, so I'll be spending a large amount of tomorrow on the highway driving to and from the school. I've heard that there are some ultra-competitive parents who sit at their computers and wait for the website to open at midnight of the appointed day, so they can book the best time slots. (Shockingly, Avrom will not be joining me as he has some "important work meetings" in Manhattan in the afternoon. Hmmm.) I am not all that worried about what the teachers have to say tomorrow. As far as I'm concerned, the kids have some nice friends, are enjoying their lunches and are in school for more than half the day - how bad could it be?

That's all for now. Enjoy your week and be in touch!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, we are all very relieved that things have quietened down over in Israel. It was very surreal to be observing it all from afar. We are aware that the ceasefire is a controversial choice, but at this point we are just pleased that our friends and family, especially those in the south, can have some well-earned respite.

Meanwhile things here have been plodding on quietly. This Thursday was Thanksgiving, and luckily Tzofia had learned all about it and was able to fill us in on all the salient points. She explained about the Pilgrims arriving on the Mayflower from England and how the "Nadive Americans" helped them. (When she learns new words here - like "native" - she learns them with an American accent and we all find it rather amusing. Though when she sang adon olam today with an American accent, we found it less amusing.)

We didn't go in for the whole turkey thing (sorry, Americans), but we did get up bright and early on Thursday morning and headed to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Manhattan. The kids didn't know what to expect, having only ever experienced the Ra'anana Purim and Yom Ha'atzmaut parades. I think they were half expecting to hear an announcer introducing "rrrrrosh ha'ir, Nahuuuuuuum Chofriiiiiiiii" over the loudspeaker. They certainly weren't prepared for the humungous balloons and the real-life celebrities (not that I'm saying that Nahuuuuuuum Chofriiiii isn't a celebrity....). It was quite an experience and it wasn't freezing cold so we had a good time and proudly added it to our list of quintessentially American things to do.

We then wandered around Manhattan and popped into the enormous Toysrus store in Times Square. We didn't buy anything (aren't we clever?) but the kids got to meet a Lego hulk, so it certainly wasn't a wasted trip:

Yesterday was Black Friday, which is a huge day for sales across America. We were warned by friends here that we should avoid all malls and highways because people go slightly bonkers on Black Friday. Given how much I hate shopping at the best of times, they didn't have to tell me twice and we happily barricaded ourselves in our house all day. I did pop out to the supermarket for a few essentials (no need for highways, thankfully) and was pleased to find it deserted. You see, the locals had bought out the entire shop for Thanksgiving and weren't planning on cooking again for another year, so it was nice and empty (apart from all the Jews of course, who had to cook for Shabbat. I felt bad for them - it was like a self-imposed 2-day yomtov. Poor things....)

Tomorrow we are making a birthday party for Maya. The most exciting part of it is that we are going to Costco tomorrow morning to buy a birthday cake!!! (I have never bought a birthday cake before - I always make it myself and decorate it with sweets in a pathetically amateur fashion - certainly not the kind that people like to brag about on Facebook.) I was told by various American friends that not only are all Costco cakes kosher but they taste really good too. So, as part of our American adventure I agreed to forego the honour of lovingly baking and decorating the cake myself and go the Costco route. I will have to find another way to demonstrate my motherly devotion. Perhaps I will knit her a scarf...

That's all there is to report from here, other than to say that it is now ridiculously cold here, and people are still telling us to wait until the real winter starts. I have a feeling I'll be ordering all our food from Amazon between December and February and homeschooling the children. Well, maybe not.

Worried From Afar

As you can imagine, we are feeling very far away from home right now. It feels very odd not to be experiencing the craziness that so many of our friends and family are going through in Israel. In fact, anything I write here is going to sound frivolous and mundane (even more so than usual), so I will simply say that we are all thinking of everyone there and praying that everyone stays safe.

More Weather

Hi everyone,

We've had a good week over here, and have been really appreciating the abundant electricity in our home. We have enjoyed the light, heat, internet, food storage and device-charging ability. I have been a little less excited about my restored laundry and cooking responsibilities, and, frankly, could have done without those for a few more days. 

The kids went back to school on Monday and managed a FULL week of classes. The school was even kind enough not to give them election day off, as had originally been planned. Election day was fairly exciting here. We followed the inane, incessant speculation on TV for some of the evening, fell asleep on the couch for a couple of hours and then woke up and heard the actual results. A pretty efficient way of doing things if you ask me. The kids all voted in the school mock election - Romney won a landslide victory, no surprises there. And Tzofi exercised her democratic right to vote for her favourite snack. Cookies won by the way, but it was a close race. 

On Sunday, we went to Riverside Park in the Upper West Side of Manhattan, so that Maya could take her new birthday scooter for a test drive. It was great to be out of the house after a pretty intense week, and we had a good time strolling around the park and the nearby streets. We stopped off at a little cafe for a hot chocolate and made our way back to the car to find that we DIDN'T have a parking ticket. So that was a successful outing right there.

Wednesday was the highlight of our US trip so far - it snowed!!! By the end of the day there was a decent 6 inches or so, which was extremely thrilling for our Israeli kids who had never seen proper snow before. Below is a picture of a very happy Maya and Tzofia with Snowman No. 1 which they built as soon as they came home from school. And yes, that is a sugar snap pea for a mouth. 

A slightly lower point of our trip so far was yesterday afternoon, when I experienced my worst ever haircut. I had sought recommendations for a hairdresser who comes to the house and had been inundated with suggestions. So I randomly picked one and showed her 3 photos that we cleverly took after my last haircut 3 days before we left Israel, with just this scenario in mind. However,this woman clearly decided that I needed a new look, and that smooth lines and straight edges were overrated. She happily hacked away at my head until I resembled a crazed maniac. I seriously believe that Eitan could have done a better job. Of course, this is where covering your hair for religious purposes really comes into its own. But while I don't have to suffer the public humiliation of walking around with a ridiculous hairdo, I won't say I haven't noticed my own family members sniggering in the corner when they think I'm not looking. And no, I'm not going to post a photo. 

That's all I have to report for now. Do comment or email and fill us in on your news. Have a great week!

Post-Sandy Post

Hi everyone,
I'm pleased to report that we are all alive and well here in Teaneck, though this week did not pass without some excitement.

The storm was due to hit New Jersey by about 6pm on Monday evening, so on Sunday they cancelled school for Monday and Tuesday. Monday (Maya's birthday) was spent hanging around the house waiting for a hurricane. In fact, Eitan was getting quite impatient and could be heard periodically whining "Where's the stoooooooooooooooorm?" But luckily, things went according to schedule and at precisely 6pm the lights went out, and our power was gone. Thankfully we had a bunch of torches (flashlights) ready for the occasion and everyone found it quite exciting to walk around the house in the dark. For the first half an hour. Then it got a bit annoying. But we figured we could manage with this inconvenience for a couple of days. And it was quite cosy sitting around in candlelight playing wholesome family games and eating junk food. (Because what's a blackout without junk food?)

Monday night we brought all the kids' mattresses into our room and had a big family sleepover. Luckily the storm itself wasn't too scary for us and no trees fell through our windows. The storm was over by the end of Tuesday, but we still had no power and neither did the school, so school was cancelled for Wednesday too. The kids were devastated.

Avrom was also home all this time, but don't worry, he wasn't going to let a silly little hurricane interfere with his work. As part of his pre-storm preparations, in addition to buying the crucial batteries and chocolate eclairs, he had bought a special car adapter with plug sockets, so we could charge the laptops, phones and other devices in the car. So Avrom spent much of the week sitting in the car working, whilst I hung out with the kids in the house and tried to figure out what to make for dinner. We have a gas stove, so we could do some cooking, but the options were fairly limited, partly because we didn't have a working fridge or freezer. I can see that for a creative cook this would have been a fun challenge. Unfortunately I'm not a creative cook so it was just an annoying challenge.

People in Teaneck started getting power back on Thursday, but we did not seem to be one of the chosen few, and neither did the school, unfortunately. By Thursday it started to get pretty cold and Shabbat was looming. The prospect of Shabbat in the cold and dark was surprisingly unappealing, but, in the absence of any other options, I started thinking about shopping and how to make it not completely dire. I spent an hour wandering around the supermarket on Friday morning trying to figure out what we could eat other than tuna sandwiches. When you can't have hot food because you can't heat it up, and you can't have cold food because you have no fridge, what are you supposed to eat? That's right - tuna sandwiches.

Thankfully, the gods looked favourably upon us (or a friend here made some calls) and at midday on Friday I had two phone calls from people with electricity inviting us to stay for Shabbat here in Teaneck. These were not people we know well so it was really kind of them to have us. We stayed at one of them and went to the other for lunch. Shabbat was lovely and we felt very thankful to our hosts.

After Shabbat, I checked my emails and saw that the school had finally got power. Yay!!! Avrom drove home to see if we had power (we didn't) and then went out in search of petrol (gas), which is being rationed because of the crazy gas crisis. Only cars with an odd license plate number could receive gas today (I kid you not). He then came to pick us up from our hosts and  we went about our now familiar routine of lighting candles and throwing a log on the fire for some good old-fashioned heat and light. Then, without any warning, all the lights suddenly went on! It really was the most exciting thing we've experienced in a very long time. The kids were so happy and relieved, and Tzofi was heard squealing: "Yay! Internet!"

So now we are sitting in a bright, warm home and trying to figure out where to go with the kids tomorrow. The 5-day blackout was not high on our list of "fun American experiences" but it's certainly not something we'll forget in a hurry - tho we'd quite like to. Of course the week did have one positive aspect to it: No laundry! Woohoo!

We are now looking forward to a boring week with lots of school and electricity. Oh, and elections.

Have a great week!

Sandy's Coming for a Visit!

Greetings from Mercedes Street!

Things are going well here, though we are gearing up for the imminent arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I think we are all feeling a combination of excitement and sheer terror about the impending doom. We have been told to expect fallen trees, a flooded basement and a 3-day power cut, during which there will probably be no school. Yippee! I think the kids are due a break from school anyway - they went ALL of last week. We don't want them overdoing it. Luckily, next Tuesday they'll have the day off for election day, so not much risk of that.

We have been warned to prepare ourselves for the storm and the power cut, and have received plenty of advice from experienced locals, some of it quite alarming ("Tape down your windows." "Put passports in a ziplock bag by the door for a quick getaway."). Avrom (yes, Avrom!!!) just came back with Leora and Eitan from the supermarket, laden down with essentials such as bottled water (apparently the water supply could become contaminated - yikes!), batteries and candles. Of course, there were some questionable purchases, too, such as chocolate eclairs, Halloween cupcakes and wasabi peas. No surprises there.

Anyway, we hope that the weather reports are exaggerated and that Sandy just passes by and waves at us from a distance. We'll see...

Meanwhile, the week came and went without too much excitement. Avrom was in Israel from Sunday to Tuesday for work. Don't be offended if he didn't make contact. He was very busy, and I think the 2 quick deliveries that I begged him to do in Ra'anana used up all of his spare time. He even took an adorable little present (which I was rather proud of) for our new nephew and forgot to give it to him, bringing it all the way back here.

(This was particularly annoying because it meant that I had to spend a very unpleasant 10 minutes in the Teaneck post office yesterday trying to send it by post. The post office guy was the most miserable person I've met in America so far, and was completely uninterested in entering into a discussion with me about whether the small envelope I was sending was a letter ($1 postage) or a package ($5 postage), even though it weighed almost nothing. He was really quite menacing. Certainly lived up to the crazy postal worker stereotype. Won't be going there again in a hurry.)

So we had an Avrom-less Sunday, but I was not going to be put off by that, and decided to take the kids to the nearby Fort Lee Historic Park for a bit of a history lesson and a mini-tiyul. It taught me two things: (1) We need to mug up on our American history if we are going to make any sense of these day-trips. (2) Going on a tiyul the day after 2 of your kids have been out at sleepovers is not a clever idea.

Luckily, they somehow managed to push through their initial exhaustion and extreme grumpiness and we actually ended up having a very pleasant afternoon wandering among the canons and pretty autumn foliage, and posing for photos. Here's one of them. See if you can figure out which two were at sleepovers...And which one is the biggest poser...

As you may have noticed from my impromptu post yesterday, the elections are pretty big news at the kids' school. They've all been learning snippets of information about the electoral system, the issues and the candidates. Leora had to learn Obama's and Romney's birthdays this week. I'm not quite sure how that piece of information will come in useful, but you never know. And of course the kids got to meet the candidates yesterday when the school brought in two life-sized cardboard cut-outs of them. I'm sorry, but I just found that very funny. Don't ask me why.

This week we look forward to celebrating our first American birthday - Maya will be turning 9 on Monday. We're not sure what we're going to be doing for it yet, but I suspect it will involve torches (flashlights), candles and scooping water out of the basement. It will be a memorable birthday, no doubt.

Before I sign off, I have a service announcement: If you would like to leave a comment, don't be put off by the request for a URL. Just ignore it and leave your name. And I'm going to remove the robot test for now to make things a bit easier. But please don't let your robots have access to my blog because it won't be able to detect them. (If you've never tried to leave a comment then you won't get this robot talk. Never mind. Just ignore me.)

Have a great week!

I think it's time for us to leave!!!!

This was just posted on the school website:

Don't worry, they also had an Obama.

Can you imagine this in Ariel School???

Me again

Hi everyone

I hope things are going well with all my faithful readers - especially those kind souls who, according to my Google statistics, are checking out my weekly updates from Russia and Germany! Zdravstvujtye! Guten tag!

Contrary to what I wrote last week, we didn't make it to the Statue of Liberty in the end. There were no tickets. Apparently it's quite a popular attraction and you have to book early. Luckily we found this out in the comfort of our own home, and didn't trek all the way to the ferry. So, in a display of great flexibility and spontaneity, we changed our plans and spent the day at the Bronx Zoo. Yes - that's the zoo where some guy threw himself into the tiger enclosure a couple of weeks ago. Lovely. We saw some cool animals and learnt some interesting stuff - did you know that a panther is just a black leopard? If you look closely you can even see the spots. I can't believe we never knew that. Anyway, we had a fun day out with only a small amount of bickering and whinging, and Avrom spent at least 60% of it not on his emails or talking on the phone. So that's not bad.

School is still going well. I found out today that Tzofia pledges her allegiance to the flag of the United States of America on a daily basis. That came as a bit of a surprise. For some reason the bigger kids don't do it. Must find out why that is. Another part of her morning routine in kindergarten is the "Question of the day". Every morning, there is a question written on the board for the kids to answer by writing their names in one of two columns. Typical questions are: Do you like vanilla or chocolate ice-cream? Have you ever been to Israel? I was a little taken aback when she told me one day this week that the question of the day was: "Who do you like more, Jackson Pollock or Monet?" In case you're wondering, she has a strong preference for Pollock, but you'll have to discuss it with her if you want an in-depth explanation. She said something about "it's cool how he flicks the paint".

We are really enjoying the incredible autumn (sorry, fall) colours on the trees. In fact, I feel I ought to post a photo. This is what we see when we open our front door.

That doesn't really do it justice. It's much more like this:

But without the water.

Anyway, it's all very pretty, but I think the kids are getting a bit bored of my constant oohing and aahing.

That's all I have to report for now. Have a great week and be in touch! I'm sure something interesting must be going on in Israel, England and Australia - we'd love to hear. Also happy to hear the latest gossip from Russia and Germany.

Post-chagim Update

Hi everyone,
I hope you have all enjoyed your first few days of non-chag. Long may it continue!

The kids happily returned to school on Wednesday after a very weird Simchat Torah of not keeping 2nd day, but still going to shul for the Simchat Torah festivities. It felt quite odd and was a little tricky to explain to Tzofia. But the kids were impressed with the shul's candy offerings so overall it worked out OK.

Eitan had a particularly good few days at school - he received his own personal iPad which will be used in all lessons for the year (only for 6th grade). It is not 100% clear why they need them but I'm sure they will be invaluable for his education. He also went on a school outing to a place called Bounce, which is basically a huge trampoline-filled facility. They played trampoline dodgeball and basketball with their classmates and teachers, and generally had a blast and narrowly avoided breaking any limbs. I think it was intended to be a team-building experience. Hmmm. Not completely convinced. Someone here told me that the schools are all about making the kids love school. I'm beginning to see what they mean. It's good to love school but I'm also looking forward to the kids learning some stuff. We'll see how all that pans out.

I had an epiphany this week while I was sitting back pondering the wonder that is school lunch. Why does it make me so deliriously happy? Well, firstly, the kids really like the food, so that helps. But I realized that I am actually winning three times over: First I don't have to make sandwiches every morning (yay!). Second, I don't have to rummage around to find something for the kids to eat for lunch when they come home from school, because they've already eaten lunch! And third, I don't need to make big elaborate dinners because the kids have had a decent meat meal at school (most days), so I can get away with Grade B dinners like jacket potatoes or pasta. OK - I never did make big elaborate dinners, but you know what I mean. This is seriously life-enhancing. Why would anyone ever give this up? If we end up living in America forever and ever, you'll know that this is the reason why. Well, this and the pineapples. (Don't worry - no plans yet to live here forever and ever.)

I remembered a couple more things to add to my list of stuff we like about America. The first is the huge washing machines and dryers. Love them! But why do they need to be in the basement? I don't know about Americans, but us Brits tend to generate most of our laundry upstairs. Looks like they didn't really think this one through. The other brilliant thing we encountered recently was a drive-through ATM. Fantastic! On the negative side, we are not enjoying the cold weather, and especially the part when people tell us that this is nothing compared to how it's GOING to be. We miss our lovely Ra'anana October climate. But at least we don't have to get out of the car to take out cash, so that helps.

That's all for now - tomorrow we plan to check out the Statue of Liberty. We figured it would be pretty embarrassing to come back from here without having seen it.

Have a great week and be in touch!

Sukkot Update

Hi everyone - don't worry we're nearly at the end of the chagim - hang in there.

Our sukkot has gone well so far, and our sukkah has remained standing - hooray! The kids enjoyed the shul sukkah hop but were sad to have missed out on their annual visit to the Barths' sukkah. :-(  As I mentioned, Leora brought a bunch of girls (about 20 of them) here for her sukkah hop, during which Avrom and I remained locked upstairs so as not to shame her in any way. They came in chattering loudly, sat for 10 minutes while chattering loudly, and then promptly left, chattering loudly, having eaten about 5% of the 7 types of junk food that I was instructed to purchase for the occasion.

We had a couple of nice day trips and the kids have enjoyed hanging out and improving their bickering skills, which had sadly been starting to wane after a few weeks of school.

We had another breakthrough this week when we finally discovered where we could buy challah around here that doesn't taste like plastic. After several weeks of sampling the local challot we were getting seriously concerned that I would have to start baking them every week, which would obviously have been a very worrying turn of events. Thankfully, after a tip-off from a local British family, we discovered Teaneck Kosher Supermarket (a very imaginative name) and have been saved from any further challah-related angst. Phew!

In general, as you can see, things are going well here and we're feeling pretty settled, but we still miss plenty of things about home. The following is a quick summary of how we feel so far:

Things we like about living in America:

• school - everything about school: the buildings, the teachers, the kids, the ipads, the smartboards, the general air of calm and serenity, the lunches, the long day (actually, that's something I like) and of course, the gorgeous toilets that never run out of toilet paper
• Sundays
• not having to listen to Avrom trying to talk Hebrew
• pineapples
• turning right on red (love it!)

Things we miss about Israel:

• people that we know and that know us and understand what we're talking about
• school being next door (though I don't miss the daily phone calls from the kids begging me to bring books, clothes, food etc)
• our lovely, convenient shops on Sheshet Hayamim 
• non-religious people 
• decent bread
• edible fruit (other than pineapples)
• sidewalks (pavements) and street lamps (For some reason, Teaneck doesn't really believe in either, which makes walking at night a particularly terrifying endeavour.)

That's about it - I'm sure the list will change as time goes on. 

I hear that leaving a comment on this blog is tricky - I have no idea why. Maybe using a different browser would help. Or restarting your computer. Those are the only computer tricks I know. Sorry! But, please be in touch somehow. We'd love to hear from you. 

Have a great week and spare a thought for us on Simchat Torah when you dance around the roundabout on Sheshet Hayamim. Don't suppose that'll be happening here. (They don't believe in roundabouts in Teaneck either.) 

Yet Another Gilbert Update

Hi everyone - I hope you all had a good week.

Our week started with the Yankees baseball game on Sunday, as I mentioned. As expected the game was shockingly dull - they almost never manage to actually hit the ball, so you are basically just sitting there watching two people play catch for hours on end. It is quite incredible that the sport is so popular. On the other hand the atmosphere at the stadium was great and we felt very authentically American. We purchased two huge foam fingers and everyone had a kosher hotdog, so it was a positive experience, but not necessarily one that needs to be repeated.

The rest of the week was fairly straightforward. Yom Kippur in Teaneck was uneventful - it turns out that not eating is pretty much the same wherever you do it. Shul was much the same as BKOA, only with a few more Israelis. We fondly reminisced about Yom Kippur in Raanana. In particular we greatly missed  the liberating feeling of roaming up and down the middle of Shwartz Street, dodging crazed cyclists.

As this is a time of stock-taking, we have been giving some thought as to how things are going here in general. The kids are all very upbeat and are still enjoying school. Their British accents are still intact, though I shuddered last night when Eitan commented dismissively about an extra-curricular course in school for which "you don't get any extra credit" - a worrying step on the slippery slope towards American-ness. Tzofia is delighting in winding me up by pronouncing Hebrew words with a thick American accent, like "Rosh Hashana" and "shofar" and "etrog" with an "o" as in "pope" rather than in "pop", and the dreaded "loooolav".

In contrast, Leora is conducting a one-woman campaign against using American terminology in the house. She is particularly adamant that "maths" is plural, and I for one applaud her for that. Maya is embracing the American capitalist experience and appreciated the higher rates paid by the US tooth fairy this week. She's also learning all about the upcoming elections, the 50 US states and she has a weekly lesson on the stock market! There is something a bit disconcerting about hearing your eight-year old talk about share prices, ticker symbols and dividends.

In an uncharacteristic display of organization and forethought, we put up our sukkah on Sunday, a full week before it was strictly necessary. Well done Gilberts! Tomorrow we will decorate it and put up the s'chach. But we are sad to be missing our annual tradition of terrorizing the BKOA kids in our sukkah as part of the shul Sukkah Hop. However, Leora has invited a bunch of her friends here on Monday as part of their own unofficial sukkah hop, but she has made Avrom swear that he will not try to engage them in any of his games, and preferably not actually try to interact with them at all. Parents can be very embarrassing, you know.

Today marked a mini-breakthrough in our absorption here, as we hosted guests for a Shabbat meal for the first time. We were pleased to have two of Avrom's old school-friends and their families over, so we could all have a good whinge about America together. Unfortunately, one of them is married to an American so we had to tone it down a bit. It was a great thrill to use our fancy dining room for the first time, and I was relieved there weren't any hotplate-related disasters.

That's all our "news". Be in touch and tell us some news from your neck of the woods. Or write a comment down below. Meanwhile, we wish you all a fun Sukkot, with much palm branch waving and booth dwelling! חג שמח!

Fruit, guitars and American stuff

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a successful Rosh Hashana. We had a good time and did lots of davening, walking and eating. My feet, stomach and brain were all hurting by the end of it, so I'd say that counts as successful.

The rest of the week was taken up with school for the kids and work for the grown-ups, and obviously plenty of trips to various supermarkets. In my quest to find some decent fruit (ie fruit that does not taste of cardboard) I bought some nectarines, peaches and apples from some real, live Amish people. Right here, at the Teaneck Farmers' Market! Though according to their little signs, I actually bought "nectertines", "peeches" and "apple's". This is not a joke. I'm hoping that the Jewish day schools are better than the Amish ones. It was quite thrilling to meet real Amish people though.

Another exciting quest this week has been the search for a guitar for Eitan, who is having guitar lessons IN SCHOOL, as part of the curriculum! For some reason which I can't quite recall right now, we didn't bring either of our two working guitars with us from Israel. That would have been far too simple. Instead we brought an old guitar from London that had been lying around in my in-laws' attic in Golders Green. (Thanks, Uncle Benjy.) Of course, after shlepping it here we took it to the music shop and were told that it was a write-off - it would cost more to fix it than to buy a new one, which I could get for $80.

So in an attack of extreme thriftiness we posted a message on the Teaneck Shuls email list (like the Raananalist or EdgwareK but times 1,000) that we were seeking a guitar. And at 10pm on Wednesday night Avrom drove off to Englewood and picked up a second-hand guitar for the bargain price of $30. Unfortunately, on Thursday evening, as Eitan happily started to tune the guitar, one of the strings broke, at which point we realised we would need to replace all the strings. But it was very urgent that Eitan get hold of a guitar to practise on Thursday for his lesson on Friday so he phoned a friend and we zoomed over to the other side of Teaneck to borrow one. Eager to get going with it, Eitan immediately started tuning the guitar, only to find the little tuning knob in his hand, somehow severed from the instrument. Yes, Eitan managed to break two guitars in about half an hour. A record probably only ever beaten by rock stars in hotel rooms.

So, on Friday morning, I stood outside the music shop waiting for it to open, and begged the man to fix these two sad-looking instruments. Which he did, at a cost of $33, saving us the grand sum of $17 in total. I think I shall go out and buy myself a new frock! Hopefully that will be the last guitar-related incident for a while.

Living here is giving us a certain appreciation for how Americans must feel when they make aliya. Things are very different here. They must have lots of questions about their strange new lives in Israel. Like: Why are the roads so narrow? Why does the food come in such tiny packages? Why don't the shop assistants want to know how I'm doing today? What are those people doing with their legs? Walking - what's that? Where are all the coupons? Where's Costco? Who's going to drive my kids to school? And what is this delicious white stuff? Oh - it's bread. I never knew it could actually taste like food. 

It must all be very disconcerting. It will certainly make us a little more understanding towards American olim in future. They have a lot to get used to. 

And in our attempt to sample all things American we have tickets for tomorrow's baseball game (not "match", by the way - you sound VERY stupid if you call it that) at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx! We're quite excited even though the game is no doubt as boring as cricket. But as long as we come back with a huge foam finger I think we'll regard it as a successful outing.

Meanwhile, hope everyone has a good week, and a decent YK. And good luck to all the Israelis for the mammoth YK-to-Simchat-Torah school holiday. Thinking of you!

Shana Tova!

Hi everyone,

We've had a good week. No major mishaps or embarrassing moments.

The kids are still loving school, and the excitement and confusion surrounding their British accents show no signs of abating.

Over the last week I have attended 3 different "back-to-school" parent orientation evenings, one for Kindergarten, one for Elementary School and one for Middle School (grades 6-8). (They are all part of the same school - Yeshivat Noam.) Avrom managed to accompany me for half of one of those evenings, which is more than he has ever attended in Israel, so I'm not complaining.

All I can say is: WOW! Avrom and I have agreed that it is actually cruel to have brought our kids here and exposed them to this kind of education. What with the gorgeous buildings, lovely grounds, tiny class sizes, incredible facilities, young, motivated teachers, smart boards in every classroom, 300 iPads, a broad and enriching curriculum and delicious school lunches, it's going to be interesting watching them try to slip back into the Israeli school system when the time comes. On the flip side, in Israel they get to wear denim to school. So it's all swings and roundabouts really. For my part, I'm really missing the joy of making sandwiches every morning and my kids keeping me company all afternoon.

We've been here almost a month and the time has really flown by. We're really missing everyone in Israel - friends and family. I have a feeling much of my conversation is misinterpreted by the Americans I've been meeting. I'm sure they think I'm either very weird or very stupid. Or both. There are not many British people here so the locals haven't had as much practice at understanding Brits as our multicultural Ra'anana friends have. Never mind - they'll pick it up.

We're looking forward to a busy Rosh Hashana here in Teaneck, (davening at Rinat, for those of you to whom that means anything). We have been invited out for 3 of the 4 meals - which is great news since my family has been fairly unimpressed by my cooking in America so far. (And of course it will be good to meet more people.)

Meanwhile, we wish you all a shana tova - a happy and healthy year to you and all your lovely families. We look forward to next Rosh Hashana in the Social Hall at BKOA and Tashlich at the Clements household!

(By the way - some people have had trouble submitting comments, so please try just to see if the comment thing is working...Thanks!)

Week Three - School Begins

I am pleased to report that, after two delightful months of summer fun, my 4 darling children started school on Wednesday. Obviously I have been very tearful over the last few days, missing them all terribly, but I'm going to be strong and put any more ideas of home-schooling to the back of my mind.

I'm very happy to say that so far school has gone very well indeed. When Eitan came home after the first day he said it wasn't really like school - it was more like camp!!! And he really meant it. I guess it can only be downhill from here. Luckily for the kids they are minor celebrities at school as everyone's very excited about their British accents. Neither their classmates nor their teachers can get their heads around the fact that they come from Israel but sound like they're British. It's really quite perplexing for them.

There has been a lot of excitement among the kids about riding on the adorable yellow school bus. Contrary to what most of us Brits think, these buses don't just exist on TV and many American schoolchildren actually go there and back to school on them every single day.

So it was with great anticipation that we walked down the road to the bus stop early on Wednesday morning. It is important to point out that this stop serves buses going to 3 different schools. Needless to say this expedition did not go exactly as planned, and despite being at the bus stop ten minutes early we cleverly managed to miss the bus. In our defence, the bus had the wrong school name and bus number on it, so we're still not quite sure how we were supposed to know. (The more perceptive among you may note the similarity between this episode and our inauspicious start to the trip at Heathrow. No need to dwell on that any further, thank you.)

As you can imagine the kids were none too pleased about this turn of events and were more than a tad angry at me. (It was obviously completely my fault.) I drove them to school and even got them there before the bus, but that didn't really help to allay their fury. They stomped into school rather less relaxed and excited than we had all hoped.

But here is a lovely photo I snapped of them in front of what turned out to be their bus, just before it drove away without them.

Thankfully the day picked up for them after that, and things have gone very smoothly so far. They're making friends and enjoying the incredible facilities at school. They are particularly impressed by the clean toilets. It doesn't take much...

In other news, we had a fun Labor Day weekend last weekend. Sunday was spent at a bizarre Renaissance Faire (jousting, archery, knife-throwing and all things "ye olde", and lots of grown adults dressed up as wenches, knights, Vikings and the like). And on Monday we all went boating on the lake at Central Park. Very wholesome.

That's pretty much all for now. I'll be starting work this week, which is great because I really can't face any more malls or supermarkets. It's weird though - with all the different shops I've been to, no cashiers have asked me what I intend to cook with a particular item, no-one has told me to save their place behind me in the queue, and no-one has "asked" to go in front of me because they "only have a few things, Toda Motek". It's going to take some getting used to.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, Avrom is in fact here with us and he's doing fine thank you.

Anyway, have a great week and be in touch.

Week Two - More Shopping

Well, we just survived our second Shabbat in Teaneck. I'm pleased to report that it was significantly more successful than the first - no oven chips for dinner, no exploding appliances and the challah was fully defrosted. We were out for lunch, meeting some more locals (thanks to Mireet for the intro) and managed to get around all day without a map! Progress!

The week began on Sunday with phase two of our propaganda campaign - we took the kids to see the Cirque du Soleil Zarkana show at the Radio City Music Hall in Manhattan. (Note: We have been informed that the locals refer to Manhattan as "the city" but I don't think we're ready for that level of familiarity yet, so we're going to stick with Manhattan for now. Sorry if we sound very uncool.) Apparently the show has also been showing in Israel, but please don't mention that to our kids, because that would seriously decrease the "look-what-cool-things-there-are-to-do-in-America" factor. The show was great, if a little weird in parts, and afterwards we wandered around FAO Shwartz, the underground Apple store and the insane American Doll store, without spending any money at any of them! Woohoo! An almost completely successful day except for the parking ticket we found on our windscreen for parking too close to a fire hydrant. They really should tell you about that rule at immigration.

The rest of the week was spent completing all the kitchen and school shopping. We now have a fully equipped and tovelled kitchen and enough school supplies to last until everyone graduates from university. The kids have been kitted out with the requisite school clothes. Sadly denim is not part of the "dress code". Eitan is not impressed that he can't wear jeans and basically has to wear Shabbat clothes all week, whereas the girls are delighted to get lots of new skirts. Interesting to note these differences in perspective. I know everyone thinks shopping in America is lots of fun, but when you have to just buy kitchenware, unfamiliar food in huge packages and dozens of skirts and trousers in only navy and beige, with four bickering kids trailing you, it can get a little tedious. So I'm pleased that's more or less over.

On Friday we were taken to the Teaneck Swim Club by a very nice new friend here (thanks Fara and Tania for the intro). It's a bit like the Ra'anana Country Club but with diving boards and swingball and without any French people. It was a welcome break from malls and supermarkets and Cable TV. But luckily, bickering can be done anywhere, so no break from that.

School starts on Wednesday (can you see me smiling from there?) and the kids have each met a few classmates from the area. Quite a few of these have been new Israeli families. I think I've spoken more Hebrew over the last week than I did over the last 10 years in Ra'anana. The children are all looking forward to starting their new fancy American school. It's going to be weird having 20 kids in the class with 2 teachers, instead of 40 kids with 1 teacher. I wonder if they'll manage to concentrate without the background noise.

I've been doing a LOT of driving around over the last two weeks and am finally getting to know my way around. In fact I'm quite enjoying defying the GPS and going a different route from the one suggested. She doesn't like it though. I can sense it in her voice.

Over the last couple of weeks we've had a few important USA-related questions answered. First - American house numbers. Why are they so big? I have always imagined American residential streets to be several miles long with thousands of houses, hence addresses such as 1298 Mercedes St. But no! We are not the 1298th house on our street. We are approximately the 3rd house. ??????????? Makes no sense. The answer is that the number denotes the distance from a particular road in the neighbourhood.   What's wrong with the normal way of counting? Maybe it's part of the supersized American culture - bigger is better. People here feel empowered by being house number 1298 rather than a measly 6.

Another thing is that American houses are made of wood. Didn't they learn anything from the 3 little pigs story? I'm keeping a close eye out for any wolves roaming the area.

Meanwhile, we are, of course, missing Ra'anana. In particular, our lovely shops on Sheshet Hayamim which we can walk to whenever we want or even send a child to if we forget something. And of course our friends! (In no particular order.)

Lastly, we now have a landline. [I have now removed the number since the blog is public but will happily send it by email to anyone who asks.] We are 7 hours behind Israel. Please bear this in mind if you plan to call!!! Would love to hear from you.

That's all for now - sorry it was so long - amazing how much you can say about a week of shopping.
Have a great week!

First Week Update

Hi everyone,

First - sorry if I haven't replied to your emails - I have read them all and really appreciate them, even the really sarcastic ones (you know who you are...). I just haven't had a chance to respond to everyone yet. Sorry!

So here's a quick update after the first week:

I'm pleased to report that only a few hours after I sent my last email, our lift arrived. Woohoo!!! The kids were happy to spread their junk around their rooms so that the place felt more like home and I was happy to put off buying pots and pans for another day due to all the unpacking. 

Unfortunately, that night we went to Dougies restaurant for dinner and realized that the time had come to buy some kitchen stuff. Sorry Americans, but we did NOT like that place. What is that onion thing??? For the non-Americans, it was basically a huge onion that was opened up like a big flower, dipped in batter, and deep-fried. The waiter said it was good. He was wrong. 

So the rest of the week was spent in shops like Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond and Glatt Express (ex-Teaneck people - stop salivating!!!) stocking up our kitchen with food and utensils. The first time I tried to prepare anything in the kitchen (a tuna sandwich) I had a massive shock when I opened the can of tuna and saw some white mush. I checked the tin and it told me I'd bought "Albacore", which to me sounded like a bird of prey and I was convinced I'd treifed up the kitchen on my first attempt. Thankfully, albacore is just a type of tuna which Americans like because it's white. What's wrong with brown tuna? No idea. But at least it wasn't albatross...

Meanwhile, as part of our "living-in-America-away-from-all-your-friends-and-family-and-everything-you've-ever-known-will-be-fun" propaganda campaign, we decided to take the kids to a Six Flags water park on Friday. (Yes - Avrom took a DAY OFF WORK!)  We had a great time and saw lots of interesting tattoos... The slides were fun too. Unfortunately, it was pretty far away - 1.5 hrs in fact, and that's if you don't take  lots of wrong turns on the motorways. What is with these 12-lane roads???? And what on earth is a turnpike? And all these tolls?? It was all very confusing and despite (or maybe because of) using the car's GPS AND Waze we took a few detours and ended up getting back to Teaneck about 45 minutes before shabbat. 

Suffice it to say that Friday night dinner was not my finest hour - the hotplate exploded just before shabbat, the oven burnt the apple pie, I forgot to take the challah out of the freezer until just before shabbat (and there was no hotplate to defrost it on because it had exploded), there was no time to make roast potatoes, so we had to have oven chips with our take-out chicken, and the shabbat urn didn't work. Basically, a complete disaster - but we had fun and reminisced over the week's experiences. We decided that the most American things we'd bought this week were a whistling tea kettle (because they haven't discovered electric kettles here yet) and brown paper bags for sandwiches. 

Luckily we didn't starve today as we were out for both lunch and seuda shlishit. It was great to meet some locals, plus another new Israeli family - they are actual Israelis, not fake ones like us. It was nice to hear some Hebrew spoken, other than in the aisles in Target.

Anyway, that's all for now. Tomorrow is SUNDAY, so we are all going OUT again!!! This is very odd. We are not used to such excitement and frivolity. It's also our 16th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Well done Avrom! 

Oh, and Avrom says I should switch to a blog so that (a) people can comment, and (b) I stop littering your inboxes.

So, when I get round to it, I'll do that.

Have a great week and good luck to all the Israelis for the first week of school. Enjoy, and well done for not strangling any children over the last 8 weeks.

Hi from Mercedes Street

Hello from the US of A!!!!

Just thought I'd update everyone on the first steps of our trip.

We made it here in one piece though not without some excitement. Due
to some bizarre turn of events, despite arriving at Heathrow over 2
hours before our flight was due to leave, we somehow managed to miss
the time slot for going through security which we didn't know existed.
So our bags were unceremoniously removed from the plane and we had to
go and book ourselves on another flight. Luckily they got us on a
flight 5 hours later, so we had some quality time hanging out in
Terminal 5, doing plenty of window-shopping and eating large amounts
of English chocolate. I explained to the kids that this was all
beshert and that we had no doubt narrowly avoided either sitting next
to someone with bad personal hygiene or getting food poisoning from
the meal on the earlier flight. And Avrom was delighted since it meant
that he could get in an extra few hours of work before he had to pick
us up from the airport.

The flight went smoothly - tho we had seats right by the toilets,
sorry - bathrooms. I was once told that the only reason to sit near
the toilets on a plane is if you have diarrhoea or you'd like to meet
people with diarrhoea. Delightful....

Anyway, now we're happily enjoying our new place on Mercedes Street. I
arrived here to find that Avrom had been shopping at Costco for a few
essentials. I was met with a lifetime's supply of soap and Snapple
(iced tea). So, if nothing else, we will come back after our trip
fully hydrated and smelling lovely.

The house is fully furnished - we just need to kit out the kitchen.
Haven't done that yet, and I'm contemplating holding off for a few
weeks. What's the rush? Luckily, Teaneck is not short of kosher
eateries and having no cooking utensils is pretty convenient. We have
so far sampled "the Kosher Experience" on Cedar Lane. Actually, that's
the only road I know how to drive to so far, so we might be going back
there very soon.

Anyway - am now going off to a friend to borrow some towels since, not
surprisingly, our lift hasn't appeared yet, despite being promised for
last Friday, and we only have a few towels. Better put that Costco
soap to good use or the kids won't make any friends!

Be in touch!
the Gilberts
xxx

Contact details

Hi
Apologies for the mass email.

Well, much as we've enjoyed roaming the streets of Raanana and London for the last month, the time has come for us to make our way to sunny Teaneck, New Jersey. I'll be flying today with the kids, and with a bit of luck Avrom will meet us at JFK. Fingers crossed.

I plan to keep you all posted about our adventures in the US by email. Please stay in touch and fill us in on all the important issues of the day in Israel, England and Australia.

[I've removed our contact details from here now that this blog is public - please email and I'll send them to you if you want to call or send us a present!]

Meanwhile, a big thank you to everyone who helped us get to this point - especially to those generous souls who provided interim housing. Your hospitality was greatly appreciated. We are looking forward to unpacking the suitcases and finally getting over to Target to buy lots of stuff we don't need.

Be in touch!
love Karen, Avrom, Leora, Eitan, Maya and Tzofia xxx

Welcome

Hi everyone
Welcome to my little blog. I'm not really a blogger, but I have been convinced that a blog is the best place to post my updates from Teaneck. So, first I'll post the 3 emails that I have already sent, for the sake of completeness, and then all future updates will only be posted here. Please feel free to comment, and to pass this on to anyone that I might have missed off my email list.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone!